Two months until my birthday... Two months until I'm 29 weeks and 1 day pregnant with my rainbow Isaac...
As I think about this I realize it's going to be awkward as all hell... I'll have to deal with three things... One, attention because it's my birthday, and that's iffy since I live on my own; Even more attention because I'm pregnant again with my third child, yet another boy... ; And then there's the matter of his big brother Christopher...
On my birthday I began spotting when I was pregnant with my son's big brother Christopher... That day I heard Chris's heartbeat... The most wonderful sound I'd ever heard...
And as you all know Chris has gone on to earn his wings...
So many emotions... It will be expected for me to act all giddy and happy that its not only my birthday, but that I'm pregnant with my son Isaac... But how can I just act like nothing ever happened... Too many people will have expected me to have 'gotten over it' which is the biggest bullshit you can say to someone who has lost a child...
I cant just 'get over it'. To do so would be to deny my own son... To deny BOTH of my children...
Two months until the memory of the beginning of the countdown... And in six days it will two months until a year has passed...
No comments:
Post a Comment