God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference...
I can't change the fact that 3 of my precious babies are gone... But God, just give me peace... I dont need all these roiling emotions right now as I am so close to delivering my rainbow... I'm already overwhelmed from all the back pain...
I'm already out in the open... You took my hiding spot away from me long ago... You made it clear long ago that I have things to do on this blasted planet... You gave me an amazing husband that keeps me anchored here in this world, instead of joining my babies...
I cant take all of this right now... I cant take the back pain, the swollen ankles, the barely being able to move, the insensitive comments from my mom, and the pain from losing my children, the pain from not being able to hold Chris's body and feel his warmth... To see him smile...
Why? Why me? Why so many times?
Please just let Isaac come already. I cant take anymore pain and I need him in my arms crying and breathing... I need him out so I can see him smile and walk and hear him laugh and coo... I need relief from the physical pain...
I need serenity in a place where I can hide...
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