I hate that my moods are all over the place. I'm tired, I feel blah, I'm depressed that I've never gotten to experience anything but heartache, and I'm really tired of these mood swings. I need to do homework but I don't have my textbooks so I can't really and I feel like a failure because of it. Worse though is the fact that I can't work on my stories. I keep blanking. I'm bored out of my mind. And there's no music that isn't depressing or makes me feel blegh.
Maybe Richard is right. I need to do something with my life. And maybe the military is what I need. I need a complete overhaul for my life. I'm so dissatisfied with my life right now, despite the fact that I love being in school. Maybe it's because I just want to get the hell out of dodge. I'm still trapped. My attorney wants me to wait until Junebug is two before deciding whether or not to still fight or just sign my rights away. And I really need to get my license.But I'm terrified of being behind the wheel of a car. But I have to. I can't let my fear of manning a vehicle hold me back.
I'm so tired of dealing with Beth and Nikita, though it's been a couple of weeks since I've spoken to Nikita, or even seen her for that matter, but that's fine by me.
Ugh... I can't stand feeling like this. It's weird. A shower should make me feel better. And I think I'll crochet... After I do some yoga. I need to do more things for myself. On another note, I'm finally beginning to build a new wardrobe- of things I like to wear. I can't wait until it's finished. Maybe I'll feel better about myself as I get more clothing that fits me and my sense of style. I just know that something needs to change.
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